


See You Again

by Ever_Dreamer



Series: SPN Challenges [26]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pick Your Own Character, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ever_Dreamer/pseuds/Ever_Dreamer
Summary: A/N: Well this started out as a cathartic piece but then why not post it for SPN Angst Appreciation Day?! I did write this with TFW 2.0 in mind but this can be for any male SPN character of your choosing. I have posted warnings below so please heed them if necessary! And I apologize in advance…





	See You Again

God, It wouldn’t stop. The anxiety, the thoughts… I know I promised myself I wouldn’t go back down that path, but I missed it. Oh, how I missed it. The feel of the blade piercing my skin, watching the blood trickle from the open wounds. The feel of contentment washing over me with each new mark.

But I promised him I wouldn’t do that anymore. Not after he caught me marking my thighs. He looked completely horrified at the sight, the blade in my hand and the lines on my skin. I didn’t think he would understand, but surprisingly, he did. While my weapon of choice was a sharp instrument, his was a bottle. We formed a closeness to each other because of our vices. Because we both felt closed off from a world that didn’t understand us. He, our friendship, was the most important thing in my life. Nothing else mattered to me. With him in my life, I no longer had to rely on the crutch of marking myself over and over again, nor did he drink himself into unconsciousness.

Although, learning of what he did almost ended our friendship. He was always so secretive about his life, telling me the least he could about himself, that it was dangerous to be around him. That never mattered to me. We were two broken halves that made a whole, albeit not a perfect whole. I fell in love with him anyways. I fell for his love and loyalty of family and friends, his quirks and flaws, his likes and dislikes, everything. And now that I knew the truth, I feared for him when he wasn’t with me. I feared the monsters, the angels, the demons and everything in between. I feared he’d leave and never come back, that whatever creatures he went after, got him first.

The first time I had witnessed his ‘job’, I was immensely shocked. Watching him kill what I later learned was a ruguru, and not a human, had been an eye opening experience. At first I had been scared and angry, feeling betrayed that he had lied to me. But then I realized why he couldn’t tell me. His profession was a strictly under-the-radar sort of thing as he had to pretend to be someone else in order to save others. After coming to terms about what he was and what he did, not only did I still care for him, but I fell deeper in love with him. I loved the man he was and nothing would change that, not even his unusual skills and abilities.

The other day, though… The other day he called and said he would be back soon. That ‘this hunt should be a cakewalk’. Apparently it wasn’t because he didn’t make it. Help came too late. I lost him. Lost my other half. I felt so broken, I thought I was bleeding internally. I think I still am. He’s gone now. He should still be here, cuddling with me on our weekly movie night. Or sleeping next to me, his arms wrapped around me as he kisses me goodnight. I miss his calls, where he said he needed my opinion, but just really wanted to hear my voice and I his. I miss his texts with all the goofy emoticons and the teasing words he would send me. I just miss him. I should be dead with him. Maybe I should speed up the process.

So now I lie here on the cold bathroom floor, the blood dripping on the tile. Instead of making my usual cuts, I went deeper. There’s no coming back from this. No one can save me. It shouldn’t be long until I see his handsome face again.


End file.
